Hello, Boss Body listeners!

I’m thrilled to share with you an enlightening conversation I had with Amy Lindner-Lesser. Amy is a grief recovery methods specialist and certified life transition coach. She’s dedicated her life to helping women navigate the tumultuous waters of grief and major life transitions, especially during midlife.

Amy’s career began in social work, assisting families facing child abuse, neglect, and adoption challenges. Her expertise expanded to working in home healthcare and hospital systems with older adults. However, it was the personal loss of her husband to metastatic melanoma in 1998 that truly shaped her journey. Becoming a widow and single parent, Amy found herself navigating grief while running a bed and breakfast, caring for her children, and looking after her aging parents.

For years, Amy struggled to confront her grief, channeling her energy into responsibilities instead. It wasn’t until she sold the inn during the COVID-19 pandemic and became a certified life coach that Amy began to focus on self-care and helping others do the same.

Recognizing ‘Life Quakes’
Amy introduced an intriguing concept called “life quakes.” These are significant life transitions that tend to occur every seven years, particularly in midlife. Amy has experienced 30 such life-changing events herself. From losing her husband to her best friend of 44 years, these life quakes have profoundly impacted her perspective and fueled her passion for aiding others in their grief journeys.

A Shift in Perspective

One of the most powerful insights Amy shared was the idea that life events happen for us, not to us. While it’s difficult to accept, especially in the face of loss, this mindset can foster personal growth and transformation. After her husband’s death, Amy learned to embrace self-confidence and self-love. She discovered that even the most devastating events carry the potential for positive change.

Prioritizing Self-Care
As Amy rightly pointed out, self-care is crucial, especially for women. It’s akin to the airplane safety instruction to secure your own oxygen mask first. This means taking care of oneself to be better equipped to care for others. Amy’s coaching emphasizes moderation in actions and engagements to prevent emotional suppression.

Philosophical and Spiritual Comfort

On a more spiritual note, Amy shared her belief in soul contracts—the idea that every soul has a purpose and pre-determined lifespan. She believes that energy doesn’t die but transforms, allowing continued connection with loved ones who’ve passed on. Journaling, particularly writing annual letters to her deceased husband, has been a crucial outlet for Amy, along with lighting candles on birthdays to celebrate life.

Listening to Amy, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own experiences with loss—divorce, breast cancer, losing my father, and the emotional changes when my children moved out. Society often pressures us to suppress our grief, leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or being a workaholic. Embracing our emotions and allowing ourselves to cry and laugh, is vital.

Grief isn’t limited to the loss of people. It includes other significant life changes, such as health issues, career changes, and moving away from loved ones. Amy shared a touching story about a young woman grieving after graduating and moving out of her parent’s home, underscoring that both parents and children experience different forms of grief during such transitions.

Amy’s insights remind us to find the silver lining in adversity and transition from a victim mindset to one of thriving. Each person’s grief journey is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. By prioritizing self-care and embracing our emotions, we can navigate life’s transitions with grace and compassion.

I hope you find solace and strength in Amy’s words. Remember, you’re not alone in your journey.