Hey, everyone!

I’m excited to share some valuable insights from my latest episode of the Boss Body Podcast. This time, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Meredith Vaish, an intuitive leadership coach whose transformative approach to life is nothing short of inspirational. Meredith and explored the destructive trio of people pleasing, proving, and perfectionism, and shared intimate stories and practical advice on reclaiming our power.

From Corporate Hustle to Intuitive Leadership

Meredith worked at Stanford University in the highly demanding fields of communications and marketing while balancing the role of a full-time mother. It wasn’t long before she took on an extra high-stakes tech project, working day and night with consultants, leading her to physical burnout. The overwhelming stress manifested as severe pain and ultimately a stress injury in her arm. Despite the warning signals from her body, Meredith pushed through until she simply couldn’t do it anymore.

Her turning point came during an acupuncture session, which she describes as a Divine Intervention. The session released blocked energy and brought about an emotional release that made her realize how much she had been neglecting her own needs. This pivotal moment eventually led her to resign and embark on what she calls a “Soul-batticle” – a break to recuperate and realign her life.

Pleasing, Proving, and Perfectionism

One of the episode’s key themes is the trio of behaviors that often drain our energy: pleasing, proving, and perfectionism. Meredith broke it down beautifully:

  • Pleasingis seen as a survival mechanism intended to keep us safe, often at the expense of our true desires.
  • Provingstems from an internal feeling of inadequacy, compelling us always to create external value.
  • Perfectionismis driven by the fear of making mistakes, with a severe inner critic that can delay or even paralyze action.

Discussing these habits was eye-opening for me. Society often conditions women, in particular, to adopt these behaviors, which can lead to a harmful cycle of self-neglect and eventual burnout.

My wake-up call

I shared some of my journey as well, particularly my breast cancer diagnosis in 2019. Initially, I thought my chemotherapy downtime would be the perfect opportunity to focus on self-improvement. I planned to read, learn new skills, and essentially “maximize” my healing time. But life had other plans. I discovered very quickly that what I needed most was rest and inactivity, something I had long neglected.

The Path to Healing and Authentic Leadership

Both Meredith and I cannot stress enough the importance of creating boundaries. Personal boundaries are essential for honoring and respecting oneself, and they pave the way for authentic leadership. One of the most profound takeaways from our conversation was the shift from perfectionism to progress. Meredith emphasized that focusing on progress rather than perfection can lighten the emotional load and foster a more relaxed approach to growth, both personally and professionally.

Incrementally Building a Fulfilled Life

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Meredith advises starting with small incremental steps. Even tiny moments of stillness or small acts of self-love can begin to shift the overwhelming pressure that comes with pleasing, proving, and perfectionism. This gradual approach can make the journey toward transformation less daunting and more sustainable.

Listening to Your Inner Voice and Seeking Support

An invaluable part of the transformation process involves learning to trust your intuition. Both Meredith and I found that intuition isn’t an immediate solution but rather a practice of ongoing attention and self-compassion. Engaging with a community can also offer tremendous support. Shared experiences and collective wisdom can act as a guide and provide motivation when the journey gets tough.

Don’t wait for a crisis to start listening to your body and your needs. It’s time to take that first step toward change, no matter how small it may seem. By nurturing self-love and trusting our intuition, we can unlock a powerful, more fulfilling way of living.

If Meredith’s story and our discussion resonate with you, feel free to reach out and share your thoughts. Until next time, remember to pause, listen to your body’s signals, and take care of yourself.