Are you holding on to any form of anger or resentment towards someone or something that you feel has wronged you or betrayed you? 

In order to be truly healthy, joyful and live the life that you want, it’s key to release through forgiveness because when you hold onto that anger or resentment, this can have a negative effect on your overall health. 

Connection between your physical and mental health

Research and studies have shown that the connection between your physical and emotional health are very much tied together. 

Every emotion that you feel in your mind has a physical response in your body. Just think about the moments where you feel sad or anxious. Maybe you start to experience heart palpitations, heavy breathing or sweaty palms—it’s all connected.

It has also been scientifically proven that holding on to anger and resentments increases conditions such as cardiovascular disease and cancer.

In addition to the physical side of things, toxic emotions have also been shown to affect mental health as well. Those who stay in a place of anger often have higher levels of stress and anxiety.

Correlation between emotions and weight

Aside from the physical and mental side of things, I would argue that there is a strong correlation between holding on to emotions and holding on to weight. 

If you’re holding on to something that is bringing you down, your body is also going to hold on to that weight. This is because emotional pain, sadness or anger can hinder us from doing many things such as moving forward with our goals since you need a positive, free and motivating mindset to do that.

In a position where you’re holding on to anger or betrayal, the power is no longer in your hands. How can you move forward in living your best life without owning your own power? This is where forgiveness can come into play.

What forgiveness is and isn’t

One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that in order to move forward, you have to nullify or deny your own experience. Forgiveness is not condoning the actions of the one that hurt or betrayed you, and it’s also not about blaming them for your pain as well. 

It is about actually honoring the pain that you went through because of the actions of the person or thing that hurt you. 

This isn’t to say that you have to subject yourself to the same treatment or repair the relationship that you once had with what it is that hurt you. In fact, you can forgive someone and choose to never speak to them again, and that is completely o.k.

The key to forgiveness is about being here and now, acknowledging your own feelings or experience and letting them flow freely without blocking them out.

Moving toward forgiveness 

The first step in moving toward forgiveness is allowing yourself to feel the pain, hurt, anger or betrayal without running away from it. 

Though it may be uncomfortable, it’s so crucial to be able to validate and experience it fully before letting it go. 

Anytime we have emotions, it’s important not to block or numb them out, something that many of us may resort to food, alcohol, or other distractions to do. 

So, whatever it may be, whether you have to cry, scream or break something, allow those feelings to flow freely through you, and simply release.

The power of acceptance

The other step in moving toward forgiveness is accepting that the person or thing that hurt you was not strong enough to give you what you needed.

So often we are quick to blame ourselves for the way other people treat us. We start to believe that we aren’t loveable enough, not worthy enough, or that their actions are a result of our shortcomings. 

This is not the truth and is a mentality that we need to let go of. The way people treat you has everything to do with themself and their own experience, not you. 

This is exactly what forgiveness means—understanding that their shortcomings are the reason why they weren’t able to give you what you needed.  

Take back your own power to live and enjoy now  

So, you have a chance to forgive and you’re taking back your power to enjoy now. How do you go about doing this?

Here’s what I encourage you to do—think about what you’re holding on to. Ask yourself, “What is weighing me down and what do I need to let go of?”

Get out a piece of paper or a journal, think about the time that a person or a situation hurt you or betrayed you, and write down everything that happened without holding back. Don’t censor yourself, don’t edit, and just let the words flow onto the paper. 

Once you’ve completed that step, fold up the piece of paper, take it outside and burn it. As it’s burning, imagine the anger, sadness, resentment and betrayal floating up into the air with the smoke, and simply release that person from their blame. 

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Remember, it was their shortcomings, not you. They did not have the strength to give you what you needed, and that alone can be incredibly freeing and most importantly, empowering.